Well, I'm pretty sure that I just had the most non eventful Christmas in the history of mankind. Presents didn't even get opened until about one in the afternoon. See, in my family, we don't really do Christmas. No, we do Boxing Day. That's the day when the whole family gets together and celebrates by drinking massive amounts of alcohol. Which, que surprise, is today! So i'm going to go and get completely and utterly smashed, so I don't have to think about how pitiful my love life is..

Hey, look at that! The world didn't end!

I wonder how many redneck Americans are coming out of their bunkers right now, going ".....this is awkward,"and trying to figure out how they are going to pay back the fifty million dollar loan that they took out to make said bunker.

I'm guessing it's a lot.

Ah, yes, the end of the world.

So, apparently, the world's going to end today.

Hmmm. I guess I should find something better to do with today than just sit around playing video games and putting videos on YouTube.

Honestly, though, I never believe in this kind of crap. I mean, the thought that a bunch of Mayans predicted the end of the world hundreds of years ago, and got it so specific that it was down to one day?

Yeah, no.

Now, scientists have predicted that the world WILL end, but that'll be because of a shift in our orbit of the sun or something, and it won't be for squillions and squillions of years, so humans will most likely be long gone by then. That, at least, I can believe  because it's backed up by scientific fact, not just a bunch of old dead dudes who forgot to reset their calender.

Ah, whatever. I guess if the world does end today, I'll see you all in the afterlife. Or Heaven. Or whatever. I'm not going to go into a rant about religion right now, it'll take to long, and I want to eat a lot of food before the end of the world.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I'm posting this at 12:12pm on the 12th of the 12, 2012.

This is the only time in my lifetime that I will be able to do this.

The fact that I know that is testament to the fact that I need a life.

CHRISTMAS RAGE!!

Oh, sh*t, Christmas. RUN!!!!

This may amaze you, but I am not a Christmas kind of person. Don't get me wrong, I love getting presents (FREE STUFF! YES!!), but I sincerely HATE the whole family-getting-together thing. Because I have a big family. And for some stupid reason, it ended up that everyone was coming to my place for Boxing Day. Which means that there is going to be 50+ people, plus children, running around. And just little old me to clean up.

Great.

Apart from that, though, I guess Christmas isn't that bad. As a little kid, I actually refused to listen to the 'there's no Santa Claus' talk, so that my mother had to keep giving me extra presents from 'Santa'. Yep, I was a crafty little bastard. The only problem is that as I get older, it gets harder and harder (hehe) to try and figure out what to get people. As a little kid, you could just give them all some piece of crap from a two-dollar shop, and everyone would be like 'awwww, it's so cute'. But if you try the same as an adult, they're like 'IS THIS PIECE OF CRAP FROM A TWO-DOLLAR STORE?!' and you're like 'damn it'. So now I actually have to put some thought into it (not something I usually do for anything), and try and find something that they won't start screaming at me about. Which, given my track record, is going to be a serious challenge. But hey, I'm The Vigilante, I'll be all like 'CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!' and run off into the distance, laughing maniacally at the top of my lungs. Which may or may not have happened before. Twice.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I just found out something awesome. My newsagent, the source of all things awesome? ALSO A DRY-CLEANER.  My Backwards Dog, that place can do no wrong.

I might soon be dead

Hey, readers

So, once again, this weekend promises to be an interesting one. It starts off with my Valedictory Dinner on Friday night. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's kind of like the real end of year 12, when we really graduate. I was going to miss it, but my mother pulled out the death rays, so I'm cleaning up my suit.

Then come Sunday, I'm playing at a family member's wedding down in Melbourne. Nothing special, just THE SONG THAT THE BRIDE WALKS INTO. So if I mess up, I am going to be hated for the rest of my life. So, you know, no pressure or anything. Luckily, it's not that bloody wedding march thing, but it's still a fairly complicated song, so I've been practicing pretty much nonstop for the past two weeks.

Also, a bunch of friends (yes, I have friends, shut up) are going camping for a week on the Sunday, so I'm catching up with them on Monday. So, if you don't hear from me  in the next week, it's not because I'm dead. Well, I might be dead. Who knows.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Is that.........?

I

I

I

I

I

I

I          I          I

I        I        I

I      I      I

I    I    I

I  I  I

I

Yep, you just saw what you think you just saw. That's what I look like. And in the thumbnail, I look like a retard.

Anyway, as you can probably guess, this video marks the arrival of me on YouTube! Hopefully, this won't be the last video, so, you know, get used to my ugly mug popping up more often.

Later, readers

The Vigilante

A retarded seal

'Sup, readers

Well, that was an interesting weekend. I'll admit, I am tired as hell. We moved about twenty acres of hay, which is without a doubt the hardest workout you will ever get. Each bale weighs somewhere twenty and thirty kilograms, more if it's wet in the middle  and you're throwing things three or four metres onto the back of a truck. And twenty acres means there's about two or three THOUSAND of these bales. So by the time you're onto about bale #75, you want to KILL the guy that came up with the idea of hay bales.

On another note, the party on Friday night went well. After several rounds of epic laser tagging (in which I discovered that one of the nerdiest people I know is actually some kind of cyber ninja GOD), we somehow managed to find a Twister board game.

Oh, dear lord.

To say that I am not flexible is somewhat of a statement. To say that seeing one of your friends basically pushing their ass into someone's face is the funniest thing ever is a MASSIVE understatement. At one point, I was laughing so hard that I looked like a retarded seal. I wasn't making any sound, I was clapping my hands, with a look on my face that said "hey, I'm an idiot!". But holy crap, was it funny.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I'M A BADASS WITH A GUN

Hey, readers

I'm writing this from a computer at my mother's workplace, because frankly that's the only one I can get to right now. And this thing is slow as SH*T.

So, apparently this laser tagging thing is actually an eighteenth birthday party, and I'm staying the night at the girl's place. The last time this situation arose, I woke up the next day with a girl wrapped around me, drooling on my arm, and no memory of the previous night. So, you know, here's hoping it goes just as well.

The laser tagging should be fun, anyway. I'm a total baddass with a gun in my hands. Which reminds me, I got the date for my preliminary appointment for RMCD today. I've expected to be in front of a panel of stony-faced judges at 8:30 exactly on the 16th of January. I'll have to get my suit cleaned. Or at least exorcised.

F*cking LOL

Hey, readers

So, I've been playing around with the blog, and I'm pretty sure that I've figured out how to put videos on here. I'm not 100% sure, so I figured the best way to find out was just to try. And so I came to the problem of "what video?". After many milliseconds of thought, I eventually decided upon this, because it's the funniest freaking thing I've ever seen. I showed it to Cripty B the other day, and we were both crying with laughter. Even as I'm writing this, the video's running and I'm literally having to stop every few seconds to wipe away the tears of laughter. So, without any further ado, may I present Ross Noble with a smoke machine on the television show Good News Week:

Holy crap, I think I just pissed my pants.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I Am The Night....... sleeper.

Hey, readers

I'm pretty sure I'm some kind of nocturnal animal now. Well, the animal part, we always knew, but it's getting to the point where I'm going to sleep at around the same point as the sun's going "Good morning!", and I'm like "PISS OFF SUN, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR YOU!!", and then waking up at around one in the afternoon. Which is, you know, productive. maybe. Also, it's probably not the best idea because of the fact that I am a major scaredy cat (is that how you spell it?), and I hate being alone in the dark, which, at two in the morning, I usually am. So, I'm usually sitting there doing something, and my cat will brush up against my leg, and yes, I will scream like a ten year old girl. It's not exactly dignified, but it scares the hell out of the cat.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

..............BORED.

Hey, readers

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I already miss school. I know, I know, I'm not crazy, but at least I had something to do when I was being taught. Right now, I kind of seem to be at a point where everything either happened or about to happen, and nothing's going on now. I literally spent half an hour twiddling my thumbs today. It was....... boring, to say the least.

But hey, at least I got invited to go laser-tagging on Friday, so, you know, yay for me and my pathetic social life actually doing something for a change. By the way, here's a picture.

If you get that, congratulations. If you REALLY get that, then you're an Avatard. Here's another one:

Why? Because it's Stitch, bitch. Heh, that rhymed.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

D-Day....... in 2-D!!!

So, as promised, I have managed to rustle up some photos of the 2012 D-day. Let's get this party started with the true embodiment of what D-day really means:

Yeah. None of them are me, by the way. So, you know, stop screaming.

Ah, here we go. This was during the construction of The Labyrinth the day before. I think this was at about 67% completion.

For the record, that guy in the green shirt? That's The Kemster. He just turned eighteen.

The scary part is that this was actually one of the widest points in The Labyrinth.

There was a bunch of us camped at one ended with an arsenal of water blasters, so anyone who came out got majorly soaked. Here we have two perfect examples of reactions to seeing all of us: The Knowing Grin, and the The Terrified Shock. Sorry about the quality, by the way.

Ah, the costumes. What would D-Day have been without the crazy, extravagant outfits? Here, we have the four guys who came as four of the villains from the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. They look good here, but the looked f*ckin' awesome on the day. Also, our beloved Prime Minister, and Mr. Abbott. Looking good, Joolya.

And now, Snow White and her Seven Dwarves. Which means......... yeah, that's me with the massive boobs. Thank God you can't see my face, because I was probably staring down my own cleavage in wonder.

..................In retrospect, I have no idea what this guy was supposed to be.

I will admit, I was impressed by the guys who did this, because they managed to do all this WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF GLUE OR LADDER. Awesome.

Ah, yes, the hideaway. Being rampant maniacs is hard work, so we built a little room into The Labyrinth, stole some couches from the library, and made ourselves a spot of seclusion. Of course, you could still soak people in water over the top of the lockers.

And that looks the be the last worthwhile I can find. Overall, it was a rather fun day, although I kept having trouble with my thong. And I don't mean the one on my foot. HOW'S THAT FOR A SCARY IMAGE HUH?!

Later, readers
The Vigilante (formerly Snow White)

Hey, look. Up in the sky........

Is that a bird?

Is it a plane?

Wait.........

Is that The Vigilante?!

I'M BACK, BITCHES!!!

Yep, that's right, your savior and general hero has returned! STOP THAT COLLECTIVE GROAN! 

In my last post, I closed the blog because of everything that had been happening. I think the words I used were: 

"The truth is, with all my exams coming up, and trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do next year, this blog has kind of taken a back seat."

Well, I'm proud to say that today, I finished my last exam. And guess what? They saved bloody Literature for last. Bastards. Also, I've applied for a place at the Royal Military College at Duntroon. For those of you that don't know The RMCD is where most of the officers in the Australian Army are trained. So, who knows, in a few years time, I could be updating this blog from some remote warzone. Yeah, that could be interesting. "Lieutenant Vigilante, your squad needs you, we're in the middle of a shootout!" "Hang on, my fans need me!" Yep, real interesting.

Since the last post, the gang has kind of spread out as well. The Red Dwarf is still in the same place, But Cripty B has moved to Albury (about forty clicks away), and The Kemster is somewhere in Beechworth (20 clicks). I'm not even kidding, none of us really know where his new place is.

Most of us are starting to drift apart anyway. As anyone who's ever been in the Australian education system knows, exams come after the end of school for Year 12, so we've all officially ended school. We did, however, go out with a bang. You see, we have a little tradition in Year 12, one that's celebrated all the world over. It's got a lot of different names, but we call it........

D-DAY.

D-Day is a very special occasion when those who are finishing get to cause a little havoc. Also, cross-dressing. Well, you're meant to dress up, but it's kind of gotten to the point where we just become transvestites automatically. I came as Snow White. I was seriously sexy. Like, men wanted to sleep with me. Maybe it was the valleyball-sized boobs.

So, an integral part of D-Day is the pranks. This year, our crowning jewel was a little bit of fun called The Labyrinth, in which we got almost every locker in the school and created a massive maze down one of the hallways. In order to actually get to your locker, you had to pass through the twists and turns of The Labyrinth, all the while keeping your eyes out for YOUR locker. Add onto that a bunch of us Year 12s hidden at key points with massive water cannons, and you've got yourself a incredibly fun time. Well, it was fun for us. Seriously, I'm glad I've figured out how to put pictures on here, because that thing was a freaking work of art. And just to have a little more fun, we somehow managed to get all of the teacher to do that bloody Gangnam Style dance in front of the entire school. I still have no idea how we got away with that. So, pictures should be on here soon.

Anyway, I'm going to sign off, because I've just discovered a random ice-cream pie in the freezer (SCORE), and I plan to munch on it, even though I have no idea how old it is. Screw bacteria, I'm The Vigilante! Sickness cannot harm me!! HAHAHAHA............yeah. Don't worry, though. For the near future, my schedule pretty clear, so I won't be far from the keyboard. So keep an eye out for new posts, because they should be coming thick and fast. Ew, that sounded gross.

Later, readers
The Vigilante
(Damn, it's good to be back.)

The End........?

Friday, 31st August, 10:22pm

Hey, readers

It doesn't take a genius to realise that I've been posting things less and less frequently lately. The truth is, with all my exams coming up, and trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do next year, this blog has kind of taken a back seat. So, I've decided to do the merciful thing. For the time being, I'm shutting down the blog. This probably isn't going to be permanent, and I'm going to leave this site running, so you can take a look through older stuff that I've written. But, I guess, for now, this is goodbye.

Who knows when, readers
The Vigilante

Two sides to every coin

Monday, 6th August, 10:43pm
Things you wish you could say at work #12: You're validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

Hey, readers

I warn you, I might get a little serious in this post, so anyone who has serious depression issues, go see a doctor.

Ever since I first started this blog, I've been calling myself The Vigilante, mostly to protect my privacy. Recently, though, it's starting to feel like me and The Vigilante are two different people. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I have two personalities or anything. Being a Psychology student, I know that's impossible. But it's like there two voices in my head; me, and The Vigilante.

For example, I recently had someone I loved die. As is the natural course, I mourned, but there was a voice at the back of my head saying why are you sad? This was always going to happen, and it's going to happen to you as well. The voice even sounded different to my own. I guess The Vigilante is starting to become something in his own form.

For the time being, I'm still going to write under his name, but I think there's going to come a day when he and I become too seperate to live in the same brain. I don't know. It might sound crazy. Hmm, maybe I am going crazy. Now, wouldn't that be fun.

Later, readers
The other half of The Vigilante

Dodgy timetabling, not on my behalf

Monday, 23rd July, 6:03pm
Things you wish you could say at work #11: I like you. You remind me of myself, when I was young and stupid.

Hey, guys and gals

Okay, so I'm one week in to the new term, and if I've learnt anything so far, it's that whoever came up with my new timetable is in the employ of Satan. Want to know what I have first-up on a Monday morning? Literature. The one subject where I actually have to use my big ol' brain, not just recite some answer from a textbook, and they stick it right when my big ol' brain is feeling big ol' fuzzy. Yep, that's something cruel right there.

I used to enjoy my Fridays, because I would hace a double period of English in the morning, and then nothing else, so I would usually just piss off to Cripty B's place or something. But they have now shunted my English class to the LAST two periods, and persuant to school rules, I'm not allowed to go anywhere while I still have classes left fot the day. Which leaves me sitting around, twiddling my thumbs for four and a half hours. Add on to that some dodgy timing of other classes, and I've got one screwed-up day-to-day schedule. Great.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Procrastinating by gaming

Tuesday, 17th July, 10:32pm
Things you wish you could say at work #10: Ahh, I see the #@?!-up fairy has visited us again.

'Sup, readers.

One term left. One term, and then it's all over. So, naturally, it's the second day back, and I'm lounging on my couch, playing video games. Yep, real productive, V. It's not like you have a ton of homework or anything.

Anyway, you may remember that in the last post, I mentioned that a few friends and I were making a movie. Unfortunately, because of dodgy scheduling, it's being postponed to whenever the hell it's going to be made. But it WILL be made. I'm too stubborn to let this thing go. We just have to get every together in the same place at the same time. Which is a lot harder than it sounds. But, hey, I'm The Vigilante. If anyone can do it, it's me. Or Chuck Norris. I don't suppose we could get Chuck Norris?

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I studied! It sucks.

Thursday, 5th July, 6:44pm
Things you wish you could sat at work #9: It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

Hey, readers

Alright, so I'm already halfway through the first week of 'study break 2.0'. It's amazing how quickly these things fly. I can't beleive I'm actually saying this, and i probably never will again, so you might want to record this: as of so far, I've studied every day. IT'S INCREDIBLE!! And by that, I mean incredibly boring. Seriously, how do people do this every day of school without their brains rotting? I honestly fell asleep at my desk while studying Literature the other day It's getting to the point of being ridiculous.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Study Break 2.0

Saturday, 30th June, 10:14am
Things you wish you could say at work #8: I don't work here, I'm a consultant. I don't know these idiots.

I'm writing this while munching on my breakfast. Mmm, Weet-Bix.......

So, it looks like I'm on another "study break". I'll admit, though, I'm looking forward to this one. Filming of our little movie should start soon, and with El Directore at the helm, there's no way we can go wrong. I've worked under him before, he kicks ass.

As per usual, my satanist teachers have supplied me with an abundant amount of homework to do over the next two weeks. Let's see, I've got some for English, Maths, Psychology, Literature, Drama, Music..... yep, homework for every subject. Bastards.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I'm going to be seen!

Monday, 25th June, 11:36pm
Things you wish you could say at work #7: I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message

Sup, readers

Yes, I am posting this late at night. Get over it.

Anyway, only one more week until the end of term. Which then leaves me with one more tern before the end of school for me. Holy crap, that's terrifying. Still, I at least have my holiday planned out. A friend of mine, who I have mentioned on here before when her, Cripty B and I got into an impromptu Nerf battle, came up with the idea of filming a short movie, so she asked me to be in it. After some major sucking up, I managed to get El Directore to direct, and Cripty B to have an acting part, along with some extras. I'd tell you what it's about, but I'm going to keep it a secret until its premiere, which I will anounce on here, seeings as it will probably be on my Youtube channel (Don't bother looking for it now, there's nothing on there).

Some of you may have figured out by now that if I'm going to be in this thing, it means I'm going to have to show my face. Yep, that's right. The Vigilante's going visual. Be happy, Vigilante fan club. You know, I should come up with a name for you guys. Hmm. I've got it! From now on, my fan club shall be known as........ The Vigilettes!! Yeah. That sucked. Anyone who comes up with anything better, put it in a comment.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

The Fan Club 'coerces'

Thursday, 14th June, 9:08pm
Things you wish you could say at work #6: Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

'Sup, readers

Well, that's mid-year exams over. Only four more months until end of year exam, and then that's the end of school life as we know it. Yeesh. That's a little scary.

I found out something a little odd today. As avid readers will know, I have a fan club. No, I'm not kidding. One of my friends told me that her little group in her Art class enjoy gossiping about me. Whether that's a good thing or not, I'm still not sure. Anyway, they've decided that it's time for me to show my face to the world, so they're 'coercing' me to start making videos. I put that in brackets, because it's more like constant whining. It's seriously annoying.

later, readers
The Vigilante

Brain = Mush

Wednesday, 13th June, 8:40pm
Things you wish you could say at work #5: I'm really easy to get along with, once you people see it my way.

Hey, readers

My brain honestly feels like mush right now, all thanks to my Psychology exam. I'm pretty sure they printed it in Greek, because I had no idea what was going on. Okay, maybe that's a slight exxageration. I tackled most of it pretty well, but there was a few questions that stumped me.

About halfway through the exam, one of the girls in my class got up, handed in her exam, and walked out. I couldn't believe it. How the hell did she manage to finish so quickly. She's one of the smart girls, too, so she probably got everything right. Lucky bitch.

I've also got the GAT tomorrow. For those of you who don't know, the GAT (General Asessment Test) is an exam that covers a bit of everything. It's kind of like an IQ test for Year 12s. I had to take one last year as well, because I did Year 12 Biology. The first thing I was asked to do was write a short essay on wolves. Yeah, you read that right. Wolves. I didn't even boother to ask who the hell came up with that idea. They were probably reading Twilight at the time.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

My Psychology teacher's messing with my head.

Monday, 11th June, 7:38pm
Things you wish you could say at work #4: I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself.

Hey, readers.

And so ends my five day weekend. I spent the other night at Cripty B's place, playing Guitar Hero. I think I broke the drum contoller during an absolutely thrashing solo. Yeah, that's how you know you're having a good time.

I've got my Psychology exam on Wednesday, so I've been studying my arse off all of today. It was wierd, my Psych teacher came up to me the other day, and told me that she thought I would be good at cramming. I was like "?". Seriously, what kind of teacher says that? More importantly, what the hell does it even mean?! It's really starting to get to me. I looked at my Psych book the other day, and I'm pretty sure it looked back. I've got to ask my teacher what the hell she meant by that, or I'm going to go crazy. Well, more crazy.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Sleep in time!

Thursday, 7th June, 10:54am
Things you wish you could say at work #3: How about never? Is never good for you?

'Sup readers.

I literally just woke up. No school today, or for the next five days. I'm not going to ever bother trying to explain why, I'm not sure myself. Not that I'm complaining, I get a five-day weekend.

So, the first public performance of the play was last night. At the last moment, we called it Picture Perfect, which won't make much sense if you haven't seen it. Still, the performance seemed to go well. The audience was raving, at least. Raving with compliments, I mean. Man, can you imagine how wierd it would be if I was trying to perform a play, and the audience was doing a mosh pit?

Later, readers
The Vigilante

P.S. Melanie, if you read this, I've got your USB stick. Don't worry, I haven't been through it. except for those naughty photos you took of yourself in the mirror.

Kidding.

A sex scene in a play

Tuesday, 5th June, 8:12pm
Things you wish you could say at work #2: I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Hey, readers

I know, I know. It's been a while since I've posted anything. Things have been hectic. Mid-year exams are coming up, winter's kicking in, and my first of my big Drama class performance is blasting off. The first showing's tomorrow night, so I've been rehearsing basically every day for the past two weeks. Yeah, I'm nervous. Not because of the actual acting part, hell no. I'm The Vigilante, shit like that doesn't phase me. No, I'm nervous because I co-wrote the play, and this will be the first time it will ever be seen by the public. My baby's all grown up. I just wish I hadn't had to take the sex scene out, it would have been hilarious.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

The blog has a sister!!

Sunday, 20th May, 10:31pm
Things you wish you could say at work #1: I see your point, but I still thing you're full of shit.

Hey, readers.

I just wanted to post this to say that this blog now has a sister blog over on Tumblr. Don't worry, I'm not leaving you guys, it's just that I can post things like photos, videos and sudio clips over there. So I'll be using that as a more multimedia side of things, while I'll still be maintianing the way this blog rocks along. If you interested, the aite at the moment is www.mrthevigilante.tumblr.com (some bastard already took thevigilante).

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

A LIST!

Tuesday, 15th May,

'Sup, readers.

Guess what! I FOUND A LIST!! Not The List that loyal readers will know of, but it seems to be a suitable replacement. One of my minions (re. Mum) passed it on to me, and it's made R.D. and The Kemster laugh, so it must be pretty good. So, henceforth, on every post, there shall be an insert from 50 Things You Would Like To Say At Work, But Never Would. My favourite is #13, You'll just have to keep reading in order to find out what it is!

While I'm on the subject, WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY SUBSCRIBE?! Not to sound desperately alone or anything (even though I am), But it's really awkward when I've only got one follower. Thanks, by the way, empe. Good to know someone cares enough to click the button. And yes, I am trying to guilt trip the rest of you. You deserve it.

Later, un-loyal readers
The Vigilante
(WHY WON'T YOU SUBSCRIBE?!)

Can anyone spell shameless filler?

Monday, 14th May, 5:10pm

Greetings, Earthlings! Sorry. Felt like saying that.

Truthfully, this is basically just a shameless filler post. I haven't really had much to talk about lately, so I've come up with a little plan. I've started up an e-mail adress for myself, so if anyone has anything they want to ask me, or want to hear me rant on about, send me an e-mail at thevigilante@live.com.au and I'll do something about it. No trolling, and definitely no spam. I'm looking at YOU, Red Dwarf.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Media Mayhem

Wednesday, 9th May, 6:17pm

'Sup, readers.

I just got back from the local Shire Council office, I was having an interview with the boss of the Yackandandah brach. Nice guy, looks like Santa Claus. I guess I'm if going to tell this story, I'd better tell it from the start.

A couple of weeks back, my English teacher set the class an assignment. We had to give a five-minute speech on an issue that's been in the media since October of last year. After weeks of searching, I eventually came up with a topic: "That the media is willing to not only omit facts, but actually change them, in order to sway the reader's opinion". Basically, it's my stuck-up way of saying that the media lies. I stumbled across an article about a local woman who was being forced by the local council to plant 800 trees, because she cut down four dead trees that were on her property. Thing is, using my network of spies, asassins, and gossiping old ladies, I was able to discover that most of the story was bullshit made up by the newspaper. So, I went to the source to find out the real facts, which brings us back to where I began. I'm presenting the speech on Friday, so I guess I'd better go figure out what I'm actually going to say.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

CHILDREN!! READ MACBETH!! NOW!!!

Friday, 4th May, 7:12pm

Hey, readers

I haven't got anything to say about school today, because I wasn't there. Instead, I went down with some other students to a career expo down in Melbourne. Gave me a good chance to realise how much debt I'm going to be in for the rest of my life. And I got a stress ball. Yeah, guess which one I'm more excited about. Still, I figured that I'm probably heading to RMIT and do a cousre in Education. Yeah, I know, all my whining about teachers, and I'm going to become one. The irony is palpable. At least this way, I'll be able to show kids that not all teachers are weird. Then again, I'll hopefully end up screaming Shakespeare at them, while standing astride a table. That'll scare the crap out of them.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Cross-Country balloons, just bobbing along...

Wednesday, 2nd May, 8:54pm
I've given up on trying to find The List. Eh, it'll show up somewhere.

Hey, readers

We had the Cross-Country today. Naturally, I didn't participate. I'm not exactly built for long-distance running. In a way, though, I wish I had done it. Not because it was my last chance to do it, because I'm in Year 12, or any crap like that. Since everyone was running, there was only five people in my Literature class, which meant more death-ray stare per person. Yeesh, a usual amount is more than enough, let alone concentrated doses of it.

I was shooting the shit with Raghead the other day, and we somehow got onto the topic of what it would be like if everyone at school was a balloon, except for you. It was seriously a ''da fuk?!'' moment. I had a mental image of my Lit teacher bobbbing up to me and being, like "Vigilante!! Why aren't you a balloon?!", and me being like "Back off, bitch." and popping her. You know, 'cause I'm a bastard like that

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Mmm...... superhero movie......

Sunday, 29th April, 5:30pm
Things on the top of The Vigilante's to-do list: FIND THE F*****G LIST

Hey, readers

AVENGERS!!! I went and saw it with my mother and the Red Dwarf last night. Now, for anyone who doesn't know, I'm a massive comic book geek, so when I heard this movie was coming out, I was ecstatic. All of the gods of comic books (in one case, literally) on one screen, how could I not be excited? I'm pretty sure I was emitting some sort of high-pitched noise as we walked into the theatre. By the time I got to my seat, I was positively vibrating with excitement. You know, now that I think about it, there really isn't a manly way I can say that. I was up until about four in the morning because I was too pumped to fall asleep, much like A Day On The Green. I'm doing English homework now, I realised half an hour ago that I had to do a paper that's due in tomorrow. Yeah, that my homework habits; remember the day before, then speed-write something.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

FOR LITERATURE STUDENTS

Just wanted to put up a note for anyone in my Literature class.

You may remember that a few weeks back, I mentioned getting Fanfiction.com to create a page for stories about Julia Leigh's The Hunter. Well, I succeeded, so anyone that was in Lit last year, drag out the stories that you did from the back of your closets, and put them on the website.

No ANZAC biscuits for me, just fried chicken

Wednesday, 25th April, 6:49pm
Current whereabouts of list: UNKNOWN

Hey, readers

Ah, ANZAC Day. A day which had unfortunatly become more synonymous with football than its actual meaning. I propose a twenty-line blankness in recognition of the day.




















Rest in peace.

Now, onto what I actually did today. Seeings how I basically had nothing to do around the house (re. avoiding homework), I strolled over to The Kenster's place to see what he was up to. Turns out, they're moving houses, so they were cleaning the place up in order to sell it when I got there. Me being the nice person I am (shut up, stop laughing) I volunteered to help, so The Kemster and I ended up pressure-cleaning the pavement. I even got paid, too, though not in money. The Kemster's mum, an extremely tiny Philipino woman by the name of Rose, is by far the best cook I've ever met. Her chicken wings are the stuff of legend at my school. She makes awesome food, and she makes LOTS of it. So when we walked inside, there's two MASSIVE bowls on the table, one filled with fried rice, the other with some kind of deep-fried chicken, just for us. I tell you, walking back was a lot harder than walking there, I felt like a stomach with legs. Well, more than usual.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

READERS!! Listen up! while I was forced offline by dodgy lines, I still managed to write, until I gave up. Here's the post that was meant to go on the first day of my Internet starvation:


Wednesday, 18th April, 5:34pm
Fun things to do in an exam, #24: Light the exam on fire. Try and convince the instructor it's the Olympic Torch

Hey, readers

First off, 1000 VIEWS!! YES!! Amazingly, I'm not as ecstatic as I thought I would be, back at 100 views, but that's still pretty awesome. Thank you to everyone who's taken a look at the blog, and I hope you continue to in the future.

Anyway on to the other stuff. I've actually had a really good day so far. Classes weren't boring, food was good, and I got into a Nerf war at lunch. One of my friends, who I haven't thought of a name for yet, decided to bring her Maverick to school, thinking she could ambush me. Luckily, Cripty B had a pair of blasters in her bag, so we happily pwned her. No, that wasn't a typo, and yes, I do know what it means. I am a gamer, you know.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Fritzy Interwebs

Monday, 23rd April, 4:52pm
Fun things to do in an exam: Lost the list again, I really need to make some copies of it.

Hey, readers

Egad! I'm actually logged on! My interwebs has been on the fritz for the last five days or so, which is why I have posted anything. But it's fine now, my trolling habits can continue. I was worried there for a while, I thought I'd have to start posting these by pigeon mail.

So, I had something really scary happen today. I did a Psychology test, and I walked out of it thinking "I really enjoyed that." Creepy, huh? I got to do a box plot graph to go with it, too. Don't know what that is? Go get some learning in you, you redneck hick.

It was wierd, but in Literature the other day, El Directore told me I need to "put more feeling into the blog". Da hell?! Dude, I'll do my best, but this is just a day-to-day blog of my life, not some diary of emo poems.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Just a little something

Tuesday, 17th April, 5:57pm
Fun things to do in an exam #23: Answer the entire exam as if it were multiple choice or true/false. If it is, try and spell out interesting things.;

Hey, readers

It's really hard to concentrate on writing this right now, because Red Dwarf and Cripty B are at my house, and having a Nerf war over my head. Cripty's got the Stampede, and RD's got the Vulcan, which is about one and a half times the size of her. We're meant to be doing homework. Yeah, like that was going to happen. It was a pretty ordinary day at school, just went to classes. So far this term, I haven't gotten any homework, at least none that I couldn't do in three minutes. So, yeah, that's pretty much I'm going to write. I know, it's short, sue me and get over it.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I'm back, bitches!!

Monday, 16th April, 4:54pm
Fun things to do in an exam #22: Turn in the exam approximately ten minutes after you've been handed it. As you walk out, comment on how easy it was.

Hey, readers

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back, live, with The Vigilante! Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while. The past week has basically been just been seven days of (pretending that I'm) doing homework. Still, I'm back at school now, so my usual routines are back. I'm kind of amazed that I made it through today without falling asleep, I only got three hours sleep last night. I'm still in my holiday sleep patterns, which means hitting the hay at four in the morning, and waking up at noon. So, bed at four, but then my alarm woke me at seven. I don't drink coffee, so I'm not entirely sure how I'm still running. They changed my classes around for the new term, so I no longer have Literature on Monday morning. I've got maths, which I can just cruise through. I thought I had English on the last two periods, which is my favourite class, but noooo, I had to have Lit then. In case you haven't figured it out, Literature's not my favourite subject. I would have dropped it by now if I could, but they locked in my classes at the start of the years, so no changing. Damn.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!

Sunday, 8th April, 7:14pm
Fun things to do in an exam #21: Every five minutes, stand up  collect your things, move to another desk, comtinue the exam.

Hey readers,

I want to talk about something today, and I'm sure that most of you are going to stop reading when I start. But that's alright, I just want to get this off my chest. It's my English class, I reckon it's bullshit. You know what we did in English last year? Identity and Belonging. I mean, what the hell? You do a French class, you learn about the French language. You do an Indonesian class, you learn about the Indonesian language. You English, though, and you learn about Identity and goddamn Belonging! The whole bloody thing was about Schindler's List, too. You want me to learn about Schindler's List? Teach me it in History, WHERE IT BELONGS.  I dare you to try and remember the last English class you had where you actually learned about the English language. Go on, try. You can't, can you? Now, I love writing, which is one of the reasons I started this blog. But I had to teach myself my of the skills I needed to become a decent writer, because my English teacher didn't! You want to know a secret? You know how adults complain agout text language, like l8r instead of later? They can't blame us for jack shit. Want to know why? BECAUSE THEY NEVER TAUGHT US PROPER ENGLISH, THEY TAUGHT US ABOUT IDENTITY AND BELONGING. Now, I know that this isn't the teacher's fault. They're just teaching what the government tells them to teach. So, if anyone reading this know someone in the goverment, get them to send this throu th Peter Garrett. Let's see if the bald-headed bastard does anything about it.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Cooking with Drac and The Vigilante

Saturday, 7th April, 8:18pm
Fun things to do in an exam #20: Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to excpect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay. (Found the list, it was behind the toilet. Don't ask me how it got there.)

Hey, readers.

Once again, sorry for not posting every day. During the "study break", I'm not really doing anything interesting, so I'm really only posting when I've got something to write about. As it is, I figured I might as well do some shameless advertising. There's a channel  on Youtube called EverydayAlchemy that's run by a guy hamed Drac, who's my go-to guy for Nerf. But this channel's more based on cooking, so that's what I've been doing. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest cook in the world (I burn cereal), but I'd dare say that I can cook a mean caramel slice, thanks to Drac. I had to make the recipe twice as big, though. It IS me we're talking about.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

BE PROUD OF ME!!

Thursday, 5th March, 8:07pm
Fun things to do in an exam: Um, here's the thing. I kind of maybe might have lost the list. I know, I'm sorry, but this part is put on haitus until I can either find the list, or come up with something else to put here.

Hey, readers.

Okay, so another day in Albury today. Well, to be precise, I was out with my dad for the morning, just kind of cruising around as he checked on some of the houses being built that he's supervising. After a breakfast of pies and coffee, we headed into Albury. He had a job to do over in Chiltern, so I jumped out and decided to hang around the city. I ended up talking for two and a half hours to a friend of mine, one of the guys who runs both Bear's Old Wares in Yack, and The Buddhist Shop (Yes, that's actually what it's called) in Albury. I did a good thing, too. I saw another Nerf blaster on sale, and my hand automatically reached for my wallet. But I was like, "No, V, one per week is enough." So, yeah, I'm proud of myself. No one else seems to be.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Busybody? More like LAZYbody!

Wednesday, 4th March, 8:00pm
Fun things to do in an exam #?: Beats me, I can't find the list.

'Sup, readers.

I've got to admit, I'm having trouble coming up with things to write about. All I'm really doing during this "study break", is believe it or not, studying. I know, believe me, if there's anyone who thinks of studying as a mythical thing that couldn't possibly happen, it's me. But I figured that if I'm not doing anything useful, mainly because I finished all my Playstation games, I might as well be doing somrthing that will get me brownie points with the teachers. Although I didn't do much studying today, I only woke up at about one in the afternoon. Now, this definitely isn't the first time that'sd happened, but it's usually because I went to sleep at four in the morning. For the record, I usually hit the sack at about two. But the reason I was confused today was becuase I went to sleep last night at midnight. MIDNIGHT!! The sun was practically still up!! Well, obviously not, but you get my point. Why the hell wasn't I up at the crack of dawn?! Did my body just decide, "Screw this, I'm feeling lazy. I'm shutting down for the next twelve hours"?! What if something important happened, and I missed it?! What if someone made cookies, and I didn't get any?! IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANARCHY!! Ah, screw this. I'm going back to sleep.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

I think my ceiling is made out of ten year old paper.

Tuesday, 3rd April, 9:49pm
Fun things to do in an exam #19: As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Hey, readers.

Sorry I haven't posted anything for the last couple of days. To tell the truth, all I was doing was staring at my ceiling, wondering what colour it was. For the record, I decided it's the same colour as ten year old paper. Hmm, maybe it IS ten year old paper. In a three year old house? Oh. My. God. TIME TRAVELLING PAPER!! You get the picture. I didn't do enough to post anything decent. So I didn't bother. But I went into Albury today. I know, some of you are like "V, you were out during sunlight! Are you okay?!'' And to you I say get stuffed, I'm not that much of a nerd. Anyway, I had to get a present for my mother, whose birthday is coming up soon. In case she's reading this, I'm not going to say what I got her. But afterwards, as I was shooting the shit, waiting for the bus. I noticed a Nerf blaster on sale. Me being the sucker for sales that I am, I was like, "TAKE MY MONEY!!" and then proceeded to run out of there, giggling like a little girl. Yeah, I know, not exactly manly, even for me. Eh, whatever. I spent the rest of my time at the library, looking up Nazism for Drama class. Trust me, there is ALWAYS an awkward moment when you ask the librarian for books on Nazism.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

RD, stop messing with my mind!!

Still Saturday, 31st March, 8:27pm
Fun things to do in an exam #18:Bring things to throw at the instructor when they're not looking. Blame it on the person next to you.

Hey, readers

Alright, it's official, Red Dwarf's a bitch. Here's why; earlier today, I was unsure whether yesterday was the last day of term or not. We ended an hour early, but I thought that might just have been a teacher thing. Anyway, I texted Red Dwarf today, and she told me that we still had a week to go. So when I wrote the last post, I thought I still had one more week of school to go before the "study break". Thing is, I had a gut feeling that was wrong, so I rang her to verify it. Turns out, she was at work when she got my first message, and she and her workmates decided to screw with me. So when I rang her, a few hours and much confusion later, she told me the truth, that yesterday WAS thet last day of term. At this point, my already twisted mind just gave up, and went to eat dinner. So, Red Dwarf, if you're reading this, SCREW YOU!!! My mind is fragile as it is!! readers, if you ever ask Red Dwarf something, make sure to verify it with at least three other sources, because she's probably messing with you. In other words; don't trust short redheads.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Don't picture me in a bikini!

Saturday, 31st March, 7:16pmFun things to do in an exam #17: Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For Math/Science exams, try using Roman numerals instead of numbers.

Hey, readers.

So, one more week until the start of my "study break". Of course, it's a Saturday, so I did absolutely bugger all today. Technically, though, it's the weekend, not a weekday, and you relax on weekends, and not do any womework. Or something like that. Yep, I like that theory, I'm going with that. So, apparently, it's Earth Hour tonight. I never got into that kind of global warming stuff. It might just be because I'm a greedy bastard, and by the time all this crap happens, I'll probably be dead. Besides, if the globe is getting warmer, then that means it'll be summer all year long! And that can only mean one thing...........BIKINIS!!! Not on me, of course. Ew. That's just wrong. None the less, I'll be turning off all my useless crap at whenever this thing is. I'd better just find my night-vision goggles first.

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

Screw mudmen, I'm a MUDVIGILANTE!!

Friday, 30th March, 4:22pm
Fun things to do in an exam #16: Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

'Sup, readers.

I'm writing this in a pair of Cripty B's pants, which an me are more tights, and one of his dad's shirts. It's a long story, so stay with me. I went to school todyt, and as I mentioned in the last post, I had no classes, so for the first two periods, it was a case of sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. About eleven o'clock, me and Cripty B decided we've had enough, and start walking to his place. About halfway to his place, there's a small lake in the middle of town, called Lake Sambell. As we were walking past it, we decided it was dry enough to walk across. In all my years, I don't think I've been more wrong. By the time we got out, two and a half hours later, I had three inch thick mud boots up to my knees, and the rest of me was just brown. Cripty B was just as bad. We evtually made it to his place, where I had what felt like the best shower of my life. Of course, my clothes looked like an elephant had taken a crap on them, so they went in the wash. I'll get them back from him someday. At least I hope I will, those are my favourite jeans.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

Aren't naps supposed to be short?

Thursday, 29th March, 9:02pm
Fun things to do in an exam #15: Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, nothing else.

Hey, readers.

This is kind of awkward, but I just woke up. I basically got home, ate a sandwhich and decided to have a nap. Yeah, turns out that nap lasted for four hours. Whoops. Ah well, I'll probably be up until about two in the morning anyway. I've got no classes on tomorrow, but I'm still going to school. I can blame my mother for that. The conversation went like this;

"Mum, I'm not going to school tomorrow."
"Yes, you are."
"I don't have any classes on, and I can study better at home."
"Is school open tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Then you're going."

My mother isn't the kind of person you mess with. Ever. At least I'll be able to get another nap in on one of the couches in the library. That should basically cover my whole school day, judging by my previous efforts in napping.

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

A study what?!

Wednesday, 28th March, 4:54pm
Fun things to do in an exam #14: Do the exam in crayons, paint or flourescent markers.

Hey, readers.

Ah, parent-teacher interviews. Didn't that use to be when my teachers told my parents what a great little kid I am? When the hell did that change?! All I heard today was, "He's not doing enough homework", "He needs to study more", "I had sexual harrasment problems as a kid, so now I take out my anger on the students". Well, maybe not the last one, but you get the point. My two-week holidays start next week. No, sorry, scratch that. I don't get a holiday. In Year 12, they call it a "study break". Now that's bullshit if I've ever heard it. Do they seriously think we're going to spend two whole weeks of freedom sitting at a desk?! Even I've got better things to do, and I barely have a life.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

At The Movies with The Vigilante

Tuesday, 27th March, 5:13pm
Fun things to do in an exam #13: Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip all the papers into little pieces, throw them in the air and yell "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. repeat every fifteen minutes.

Hey, readers.

No exams today, thank God. Cripty B and I both had the first two periods free, so we snuck into theold pottery room and watched Over The Hedge. I love that movie, Hammy the squirrel cracks me up every time. While I'm on the subect of movies, I was talking with the Red Dwarf today, and she mentioned the movie Burlesque. Now, I hate that movie and for good reason. One of my favourite films of all time is Coyote Ugly (If you think it's gay, you haven't seen it. IT'S CHICKS DANCING ON A BAR.), and Burlesque is a complete ripoff of it. I hate it when movies do that. There's two that I can think of off the top of my head. The first is The Lion King, which, as I've said before, is just Hamlet. And Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time? Pocahontas. Don't believe me? Go watch it. I heard rumours that there's going to be a sequel to Avatar. Hmm, that's funny, I didn't realise they had made Pocahontas II.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

TWO?!?! COME ON!!

Monday, 26th March, 5:12pm
Fun things to do in an exam #12: Run into the room, looking around frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Walk up to the instructor, say "They've found me, I need to leave the country!", then run out.

Hey readers

Monday morning, Literature exam, didn't study, no cheat sheet, still half asleep. Yeah, welcome to Year 12, V. I think the topic was something like "T.S. Eliot argued that society is souless and dull", or something like that. I don't even remember what I wrote, it was just two and a half pages of blah. I did manage to do a paragraph on how Eliot often hints at prostitution, though. Scary part was, it almost made sense. Anyway, just because ONE exam isn't bad enough, I had a Maths one in the afternoon. Seriously?! Do all the teachers stand around and plot how to destroy our souls, all while cackling wildly?! Now, I like to think I'm fairly good at maths, but there was one question that I just face-palmed on. It was something about interest, and I was writing madly, when I glanced up at the top of the question and noticed I'd gotten one of the numbers wrong. Just one number, but it was enough to screw up the whole question. So the writing on the question ended with "164993.64 over 34... wait..............bollocks." Hopefully, I might get a mark for making the teacher laugh. Maybe.

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

So a drummer and a pirate voodoo doll walk into a bar...

Sunday, 25th March,
Fun things to do in an exam #11: Bring pets. The more unique, the better.

Hey readers,

Ah, the Folk Festival Market. A chance for people to buy random, cheap crap that they'll never use. I did get a little Jack Sparrow voodoo doll thingy, though. Cripty B has been looking for one, figured I'd get it for him. Or rub it in his face, depending on what mood I'm in. I'm still not sure how, but I got roped into volunteering to work at a stand. I was talking to the Red Dwarf's parents, who owna shop, and I kind of started to zone out of the conversation. They said something, I half-said something, next thing I know, I'm sitting in a stall, trying to sell a hand-made basket from Africa to some old people. I was like, "What the deuce?!", but they gave me jelly beans, therfore I was content. Yep, I'm an easy one to please. Also, some big news today. Webster, the drummer from my band, has moved to Queensland, leaving the rest of the band very un-rythmic. Webster, if you're reading this, good luck, and don't get too much of a tan. Seriously, melanoma. Reeeeally bad thing.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

WTF is KONY2012?!?!

Staurday, 24th March, 6:03pm
Fun things to do in an exam #10: Find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religous beliefs. Be creative.

Hey readers,

FOLK FEST IS ON, BITCHES!! I apologise, I don't know why I said that. But it's true, The Yackandandah Folk Festival has oficially begun, as of last night! I've already played three gigs, one out the front of a shop, and one at either of the pubs. Yeah, that's how you can tell Yack is a country town, we've got two pubs. Anyway, the gigs went pretty well. I'm sitting at home now, I usually don't go on Saturday. It's my own little way of rebelling. You see, all the international acts play on Saturday, and you need to buy a ticket to see them, and I reckon that's bullshit. I mean, all the money from the Folk Fest is going back to the community, SO WHY IS THE COMMUNITY PAYING?!?! I can understand the tourists having to pay, but the locals?! What the hell?!? It's stupid!! I swear, I'm going to make sure this thing rivals KONY2012!! I don't even know what that is. Seriously, can someone explain it to me?

Later, readers
The Vigilante

A quick... thing.

Friday, 23rd March, 12:25pm
Fun things to do in an exam #9: Star a game of extreme frisbee in the exan. Extra points for hitting the instructor.

Hey, readers

I'm posting this from school because I'm playing tonight (if you're confused, read some of the earlier posts), so I'm not going to get a chance to get to my laptop. A big thanks to Blondie, I got shut out of my account (don't ask why), so he's letting me use his. The music teacher asked me to do a couple of songs at lunchtime, you know, just to get the little kids excited about music. I have NO idea what I'm going to play, of course, but hey, I'll wing it. Anyway, like I said, I'm not going to get a chance to post something tonight, so I'll talk to you tommorow.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

El Directore Aborigine

Thursday. 22nd March, 6:48pm
Fun things to do in an exam #8: Bring a Game Boy, Nintendo DS or PSP. Play with the volume at full.

Hey readers,

Had an English essay today. The topic was something about how events and experiences can shape how we see a place, or some crap like that. I ground out a story, can't even remember what it was about now. Ah well, I think it was alright. Just got home from Drama. Mum was working late, so I got a lift from Blondie and his sister. It was a good class, we got a lot done. Had an interesting moment where I friend of mine, who shall be named El Directore, was on the ground, pretending to be a Tasmanian Aboriginal, and I was shooting him with a wooden gun. Yeah, that wasn't massively politically incorrect at all. Got to wear a ton of masks, though. I love masks. Don't know why, just love them. And if anyone makes a crack about my sexuality over that, I'll kill them.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

Faster then people at a fart convention

Wednesday, 21st March, 5:03
Fun things to do in an exam #7: Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semster long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

G'day readers

Found out some interesting news today. The Yackandandah Folf Festival is this weekend, and I'm the very first act to play. Like, OUT OF EVERYONE. As soon as I heard this, the first thing to go through my head was, and I qoute, "CRAP". I mean, if I sart the whole thing off with a bad song, everyone will be like, "Well, this was shit, and judging a book by it's cover, the rest of the festival will be as bad!" and then they will clear out faster than people at a fart convention. Usually, at this point, I would say no pressure, but that's a bloody lot of pressure! I'm probably going to be up all night, planning my set list, then replanning it. I'm kinda nervous when it comes to this kind of th-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!. Man, I was almost able to say that with a straght face! Who am I kidding, I'm never nervous! I'm The Vigilante! I have nerves of lithium dioxide! Whatever that is....

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

The Muppets are coming for me... through my toilet!!

Tuesday, 20th March, 4:50pm
Fun things to do in an exam #6: Bring cheerleaders.

Hey, readers.

Had a free double period first up today. I meant to do a chapter of work for Psychology, so naturally Cripty B and I ended up watching the new Muppets movie on his laptop. I was terrified of The Muppets as a little kid. I used to think they would come out of my toilet and get me, so whenever I had to go, I would creep in, quietly do my stuff, flush the toilet and sprint out. Okay, so they're not exactly Stephen King's It, but come on, Gonzo still looks kinda creepy. Anyway, had Literature after that. We're doing T. S. Eliot, and next week, we have to do an exam on his "views and values". You ask me, I reckon they're the same as every other poets: life sucks, the world is dismal, we should all go die. Don't tell my Lit teacher that, though. I think she's in love with the guy. Like, full on, sleeping with his picture under her pillow love. Maybe all I need to do to pass the exam is draw a big picture of T. S. Eliot. She'll go all dreamy-eyed ovre it, and I'll get an A. Hmm, good plan, that.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

Korean men are lesbians.

Monday, 19th March, 5:24pm
Fun things to do in an exam #5: Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions out loud, debate answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell "I'm SOOOO sure you can hear what I'm thinking!"

Hey readers

So, back to school after a great weekend. Slept on the bus, I was that tired. Still managed to convince the teachers I was awake all the way through the classes (dumb bastards). Learnt something in Psychology, though. We were talking about a thing called Hyptic Jerks, which, much to my suprise, are not a bunch of cryptic hippie jerks. It's when you twich when you're sleeping, and I realised I have that BAD. I sometimes look like I'm having an epileptic fit while I'm dozing. Had a good lunch, got into a deep conversation about how most Korean men look like girls. It was me and The Prince of Parkour on the affirmative, and two of my other friends, Raghead (a chick) and Blondie, disagreeing. They seriously do, like, I thought that a video of a Korean couple making out was the start of a lesbian porno. That might just be my perverted mind talking, but whatever.

Later readers,
The Vigilante

Hats and pies.

Sunday, 18th March,
Fun things to do in an exam #4: Make paper planes out of the exam. Aim for the instructor's left nostril.

Hey readers,

I was right, I didn't get to sleep until four in the morning. And as such, I woke up at one in the afternoon. Then again, I usually do that on a Sunday. I'm still wearing the hat I got last night. It's a bit dorky, but I like it, dagnabbit it! At the moment, I'm watching The Big Bang Theory and cooking some Sebbie pies for dinner. One of my neighbors, who the pies are named after, makes them, and they are the best pies EVER. I've got a few beef and bacon ones in the oven, and they're a few minutes off, so I'm going to sign off and find the barbeque sauce.

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

MY EARS HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY THE VOICES OF GODS.

Saturday, 17th March,
Fun things to do in an exan #3: If it is a maths/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is a long answer/esaay exan, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.




Choirboys.

Ross Wilson.

Daryl Braithwaite.

Ian Moss.

Noiseworks.

AWESOME!!

Just in case you didn't realise, I FREAKING LOVED A DAY ON THE GREEN!! I didn't think it could get any better, but then it did when Noiseworks came back on for an encore, and called out VANESSA FREAKING AMOROSSI!! I swear, from the moment when The Choirboys blasted out their first chord, it was like one continuous musical orgasm. I've almost lost my voice from screaming along. Got a straw cowbot hat out of it, too. Nice hat, bit small though. I'm watching South Park at the moment, because I'm too wired up to get to sleep for hours. I'm not sure if I've seen this one or not.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

Rain, music and winging it.

Friday, 16th March, 5:32pm
Fun things to do in an exam #2: Get a copy of the exam. Run out, screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

Hey, readers.

Friday! I love Fridays. Doesn't everyone? I've only got a double period of English first up on Fridays, and that's it. Had to do a presentation on some random story today, one which we supposedly had two weeks towork on. Of course, me being me, I read it for the first time last night, and just winged my way through the presentation. I'm the king of winging it. Anyway, met with the band after that, had a bit of a jam. Then got two spend two hours having a nice, relaxing nap. But of course, the world had to be screwing with me, so it was raining, and every time you went outside, even for a second, you got drenched. I'm hoping it's done by tomorrow, because tomorrow I'm going to DAY ON THE GREEN!! Can anybody say F'ING YEAH?!? I mean, Ian Moss, The Choirboys, Daryl Braithwaite, as a huge fan of Aussie 80's music, I am STOKED!! And I'm sure most of you are like "Who the hell are The Choirboys?", and don't worry, I'm in such a good mood, I will forgive your blasphemy. Your repentance is to go on Youtube and listen to their music. Go, my child, go forth and be educated in the ways of awesomeness.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

I'm not a drama queen, I'm a drama KING!

Thursday, 15th March, 8:59pm
Fun things to do in an exam #1: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "Oh geez, better get cracking!" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

Hey, readers.

Wasn't at school today. I went down to Melbourne with my Drama class to see some show we have to write about. The Show was alright, got maybe a 4.5 out of 5 on my LOL-meter. The bus ride there and back was interesting, though. There's only eight of us in the class, so we hired a minibus, for the ride. I spent the whole trip with the window open and my arm hanging out of it (as is the Australian way), and my other arm blue. Some bastard decided it was hilarious to crack open a pen and smear it down my arm. I looked one-tenth Smurf, which is not a look I can pull off. Hell, I don't think anyone can pull that off. One of my mates, who shall henceforth be known as The Prince of Parkour, was riding in the front seat, alternating between sleeping and being in charge of music. I'm kind of worried, because I think that someone took a video of me singing and doing air guitar and drums to Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer, and it's somewhere out there. Knowing my luck, it'll end up on Youtube. Let us hope not. It was not a pretty sight.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

Vigilante Bond, International Man of Blogging

Wednesday, 14th March, 5:08pm
Today's song of shuffling: Hands Held High by Linkin Park

Hey, readers.

And also, здравствулте! Because I've just found out that a large percentage of the people who view this blog are from Russia! I maen, what the hell?! Russians, reading about an Australian?! This is madness! And congratulations to anyone who read that and automatically yelled THIS IS SPARTA!!! Also, there's a German, so hallo to you, random German person. How's the bratwurst this time of year? Anyway, I haven't talked about my day yet, and quite frankly, thete isn't much to talk about  Wait, I've had an idea! I found this random piece of paper in the library today, with a list on it, called Fifty Fun Things To Do In An Exam. I swear, that list is bloody hilarious, so, starting with my next post, The Shuffling Song of The Day shall go on leave, and be replaced by Fun Things To Do In An Exam. It shall be so, for my word is law! At least, on this blog, it is.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

100!!!

Yes, readers!!!! YES!!!!!!!

I've happy, in case you can't tell, because this puny little blog just got ONE HUNDRED VIEWS!!!!! YES!!!!! I mean sure, there are blogs out there with, like, a million views, but they're not mine, and this one is, and it just got ONE HUNDRED VIEWS!!!!!  By, the way, did I mention the blog just got ONE HUNDRED VIEWS?!?!?! Okay, no more sugar for me tonight. I wonder what I'll do when it gets a thousand views? Whatever.











ONR HUNDRED VIEWS!!!!!

The Next Blog button.... OF DOOOOOM!!!!!!

Tuesday, 13th March (again), 8:03pm

'Sup, readers.

First off, this isn't one of my daily posts, I'm just bored and looking for something to do. And by that, I mean I have a ton of Psychology homework to do that's due tommorow, and I'm looking for reasons not to do it. Anyway, you know the little bar that's at the top of this page if you're signed in? It's got buttons like Follow, Share, yada yada yada. But you see the button marked Next Blog? I hit that every now and then, just to see what's out there. First time, it lead me through a string of blogs by loving mothers about their infant children. Next time, it was emo poets, talking about how messed up thier lives are. Then, patriotic Americans ranting about politics and the beauty of the American way of life. And finally, when I pressed it just then, I was lead through the wonderful world of Rumba music and dancing. Which made me wonder; where did my blog fit in? Would you find it in the middle of other blogs by random people who have an inane urge to broadcast their lives under another name? Sorry, we were getting philosophical in Literature today, and I guess I've still got a little of it on me. Whatever. I guess I'd better start this homework. Anybody know what synesthasia is? Because I've got about as much a clue as a phone box.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

Ninja + Thief = Kemster

Tuesday, 13th March, 5:22pm
Today's shuffling song: Used To Get High by The John Butler Trio

Hey readers

Back to school today. I would almost say I was looking forward to it, but, you know, it's school. I did learn something today, though. The Kemster, master linguist and card-carrying member of The Lollipop Guild, is a serious kleptomaniac. Like, the dude will just steal something, and run away, giggling like a little bastard. For example, today, HE STOLE MY SHOE. Just took off. He was out the door before my sock even touched the carpet. For crying out loud, I had to go to a class with one shoe on! I had to hold him in the air by his ankles till he told me where my shoe was. I swear, the next time that little bugger steals something of mine, I'm pulling his underwear over his head.

Later, readers
The Vigilante.

The end of a four-day era.

Monday, 12th March, 8:36pm
Today's shuffling song: By The Way by Hinder

Hey readers,

And so ends the final day of my four day weekend. I'm sure that I had some homework to do, I just can't remember what it was. Ah well, I should have expected that. ........Sorry, I got kind of got distracted. I'm watching The Big Bang Theory, and for some strange reason, they just did a version of Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead Or Alive on a harp. Random, yet strangly amusing. I can't say I completed much this wekend, except for a large amount of gaming. Oh, I got a haircut. Forgot to mention that. Ialways feel wierd after a haircut. It's like the hair's gone, but you're still used to the weight of it. Sure, it's only three centimetres of hair, but I've got such thick hair, that's probably about half a kilo and a half of head fluff. Eh, I'm babbling again. I'm at that point where I'm half paying attention to this, and half watching TV. And now I'm going to have to decide which one I'm going to focus on. And TV wins. Everytime.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

Yankee Doodle, I am not.

Sunday, 11th March
Today's shuffling song: Total Eclipse Of The Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Gotta love the eighties.

Bonjour, readers.

Alright, it's official: four day weekends may be awesome, but they suck for blog writers, because, just like yesterday, I have NOTHING to talk about. And I'm sure that some of you are like, "Vig, what the hell, man? Why aren't you out partying your arse off?" Good question, imaginary, slightly douchey reader. For starters. I live just to the right of the middle of nowhere, with no driver's licsense. I could ride a horse to town, but I'm not Yanky Doodle. Besides, I was never one for partying. I prefer staying in with my mates, kicking thier asses at Mario Kart. Yeah, I'm talking about you, Red Dwarf. And even if you could get me to a party, I'd be a wreck. I'd just stand in the corner, looking like a stalker. Also, I can't dance, save for the odd moonwalk in my socks. No, I think I'll just sit here in the VigilanteCave, munching on home made pizza, modding Nerf guns and re-watching both Iron Man movies, like a good not-so-little nerd. And if you're sitting there, thinking "Huh? Not-so-little?", I'm six foot five, and still growing. I've never been called little in my life. And Red Dwarf, if you even think about posting a comment about how my private parts have been called little, I swear, you'll end up as a smudge on my shoe.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

The royal family of Denmark are lions.

Saturday, 10th March, 8:36pm
Today's shuffling song: Jimmy Recard by Drapht. One of the best rap songs of all time.

Hey readers.

To tell the truth, I don't really have much to talk about today. It was a pretty lazy day. Just slept in, did a bit of grocery shopping, and that's pretty much it. And now I've got nothing to talk about. At the moment, I'm watching The Lion King on TV. Wait, I can talk about that! Because I actually have learnt something in Literature, and that's William Shakespeare's Hamlet. And you don't even have to look closely to realise that The Lion King is Hamlet! Seriously, go read Hamlet, then watch The Lion King. It's all there! Uncle kills father to become king, son gets exiled but comes back, son kills uncle. Simba's father, Mufasa, even comes back as a ghost. And to go even further, he makes a speech about how his son has to remember him! True, the endings are different, but they wouldn't let the main character die in a Disney movie, were they? But everything else is the same! I find it seriously ironic when someone tells me they didn't like Hamlet at all, but they loved The Lion King. It's like saying that you don't like films, but you love movies. It's the same bloody thing! Go on, try and tell me I'm wrong. See, you can't, can you?

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

Weekend squared

Friday, 9th March, 7:13pm
Today's shuffling song: Spare Me The Details by The Offspring.

Hey readers,

Sorry I didn't get a chance to update last night. There is a reason why, but it's a bit long, so stay with me. A couple of days ago, I found out that the teachers at my school were doing some training thing today, which meant that, coupled with the public holiday on Monday, meant that I have a FOUR DAY WEEKEND. Can anybody say HELL YES?! Also, on Thursdays, my Drama class goes until five o'clock, so after that, I stayed the night at Cripty B's place, which is why I couldn't update. Anyway, we caught the bus into Albury today. For those of you who don't know, Albury is kind of like a much smaller, rural version of Melbourne. We were going to go see that John Carter movie, but didn't have time, because we had to catch the bus home. Still, got a lot of the important stuff done. You know, shopping, starting at pretty girls, eating, staring at pretty girls and staring at pretty girls. Oh, and did I mention staring at pretty girls?

Later, readers.
The Vigilante.

Twang twang twang, I'm so twanging tired.

Wednesday, 7th March, 10:11pm
Today's shuffling song: Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. Great take on the song.

So, I literally got home. And it is amazing that I even have the energy to write this, because right now I'm beat. I got asked to play at some barbeque for the parents of the school (Yes, I'm a musician, get over it). And I love performing, so I agreed to do it. Being the nice person I am, I even agreed to help clean up afterwards. It was at this point that they told me it was tonight. Yeah, that was the moment that stopped me. You see, my school is somewhere near thirty kilometres from my place, and there's only one bus a day, and that goes right after school. I miss that, and it's a long walk home. But hey, I'd agreed, and I'm a man of my word. So I did the gig, turned out pretty well. Then came the task of getting home. Thankfully, one of the teachers was going my way, so I managed to hitch a ride with them. Lucky, huh? Finally getting a driver's liscense is going to be handy, though.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

A wavering Red Dwarf

Tuesday, 6th May, 2012, 5:14 pm
Today's shuffling song:  Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Yeah, it's a little gay.

Not a bad day today. For once, I actually managed to get a piece of homework in on time and believe me, that's pretty momentous. Bit of a downer today, though. Halfway through literature, The Red Dwarf suddenly dissappeared, claiming she "felt like crap". So, being the nice person I am, I called a toilet break and went to check on her. Word of advice guys, go and check on a girl the next time they go to the sick bay. Major brownie points. Anyway, she had a major headache and, I quote, "was about to projectile vomit across the room". Charming. None the less, I'm posting this to say get better, Red Dwarf, because if you don't, the pain from your constant hitting will soon wear off, and I might have a moment of clarity. Which would be undoubtedly bad for the rest of the world.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

Too little? Too much? I dunno.

I've got to admit, I have no idea how often I should be updating this thing. I mean, I've seen a blog where the person has been updating every twenty seconds to talk about what their three cats are doing (It started getting creepy when it got to mating season), but I've also seen one where the guy running it only posted something on it every six months. True, the stuff he said was so amazingly profound, it made want to shave my head, throw on a sheet and go the way of the monk, but I digress. Look, I'll try and update this every day or two. That seems reasonable, right?

To quote Garfield....

Mondays. Is there anbody out there who actually enjoys Mondays? I mean, seriously. You spend the weekend sleeping in and doing whatever the hell you want to, And then Monday comes around, and you've got to go to a job, or in my case, that circle of Hell (Yes, that was a Dante reference) that they call school. The first day of the week, and I've got double periods of the three subjects that I least enjoy; Literaute (Hence the Dante), Psychology, and Math. And,. of course, I've forgotten to do the homework for all of them. No wonder my teachers hate me. Still, school does have its benefits. I managed to spend my lunchtime chowing down on sandwhiches and arguing which Nerf gun is better to dual wield, Mavericks or Barricades. Oh, and to my mate, Cripty B, if you're reading this, you know it's the Barricade. Just admit it, man. God, I need a life.

In case you're kind of starting to think of me as just a Nerf nerd, calm down. My mates and I are just (somewhat) regular people. If a little messed up. First off, there's Cripty B, my best friend. His parents are immagrents, though from where I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure his dad is a spy. You know, he's got that lasers of death look. Cripty's an avid comic book man like me, and we often have the arugument of Stan Lee vs. Frank Miller. I say Lee, he says Miller. Then there's the Red Dwarf, who's a girl, and a friend, but she's not my girlfriend, you immature little buggers. She rides horses, and is an artist. I'm hoping that one day, I'll be able to convince her to paint my Nerf guns. She also has a rather painful fondness of hitting me on the head or the nuts. I reckon she believes I'm either too smart or fertile. And finally, the Kemster, the master linguist. He may only be four and a half feet tall at seventeen, and built like a stick (and most of that stick is a giant smile), but don't let that fool you. He's fluent in seven different languages, and is currently learning Japanese for the fun of it. I swear, you just can't be mad at the Kemster. He's constantly smiling. And when I say constantly, I mean it. I've snuck up on him while he was sleeping, and there was still a giant grin on his face.

Anyway, I'm going to go for a swim. Before I sign off, though, I've come up with an idea to keep the masses amused. Every time I post an update, I'm going to put my ipod on shuffle and write down the first song to come up. Today's shuffling song is.... Holy Grail by Hunters & Collectors. Mmm, awesome song. Aussie band, too. If you don't know it, look it up. It's worth it.

Later, readers.
The Vigilante

The Time Warp has been done

By the way, I should probably mention that, because this site is running on American time zones, It's going to look like I'm a creepy, pale geek who never sleep and posts blogs at four o'clock in the morning. Truth is, down here in Oz, it's about ten past eleven, so, yeah, I'm not a geek. Much.

Welcome, readers!

Greetings, everybody out there! I am The Vigilante, and welcome to the blog! I've got to admit, though, this is my first time running a blog. So, in foresight, I apologize if I think that I've uploaded an update, and I've actually sent out a photo of Santa Claus naked. Which I'm pretty sure would be bad. Unless you have a Santa fetish, which I don't. Anyway, moving on. I get the feeling that I probably ttell you a bit about myself, so here goes. I live in Australia, so sorry to any women anywhere else who fall in love with me (Hey, a guy can dream, right?). At the time of writing this message, I've just started Year Twelve, though what the American equivelent of that is, I've got no idea. It's the one you do when you're eighteen. Um, what else? I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I am both a dog and a cat person and yes, I am purposefully not describing what I look like. There is a reason for this, mostly for privacy, but also to give myself a bit of mystery. You know, so you can imagine me as a broad shouldered hunk with long flowing hair. Which I'm mostly not, unless someone pulled some seriously good voodoo since the last time I looked in a mirror. Hm. I'm rambling again. Yeah, that seems to happen a lot, so you might want to get used to it. Anyway, I'm going to wrap it up here, and I hope you enjoy the blog. With any luck, there'll be a Youtube channel to accompiany it soon. I hope.