Still Saturday, 31st March, 8:27pm
Fun things to do in an exam #18:Bring things to throw at the instructor when they're not looking. Blame it on the person next to you.
Hey, readers
Alright, it's official, Red Dwarf's a bitch. Here's why; earlier today, I was unsure whether yesterday was the last day of term or not. We ended an hour early, but I thought that might just have been a teacher thing. Anyway, I texted Red Dwarf today, and she told me that we still had a week to go. So when I wrote the last post, I thought I still had one more week of school to go before the "study break". Thing is, I had a gut feeling that was wrong, so I rang her to verify it. Turns out, she was at work when she got my first message, and she and her workmates decided to screw with me. So when I rang her, a few hours and much confusion later, she told me the truth, that yesterday WAS thet last day of term. At this point, my already twisted mind just gave up, and went to eat dinner. So, Red Dwarf, if you're reading this, SCREW YOU!!! My mind is fragile as it is!! readers, if you ever ask Red Dwarf something, make sure to verify it with at least three other sources, because she's probably messing with you. In other words; don't trust short redheads.
Later, readers
The Vigilante
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Don't picture me in a bikini!
Saturday, 31st March, 7:16pmFun things to do in an exam #17: Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For Math/Science exams, try using Roman numerals instead of numbers.
Hey, readers.
So, one more week until the start of my "study break". Of course, it's a Saturday, so I did absolutely bugger all today. Technically, though, it's the weekend, not a weekday, and you relax on weekends, and not do any womework. Or something like that. Yep, I like that theory, I'm going with that. So, apparently, it's Earth Hour tonight. I never got into that kind of global warming stuff. It might just be because I'm a greedy bastard, and by the time all this crap happens, I'll probably be dead. Besides, if the globe is getting warmer, then that means it'll be summer all year long! And that can only mean one thing...........BIKINIS!!! Not on me, of course. Ew. That's just wrong. None the less, I'll be turning off all my useless crap at whenever this thing is. I'd better just find my night-vision goggles first.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
Hey, readers.
So, one more week until the start of my "study break". Of course, it's a Saturday, so I did absolutely bugger all today. Technically, though, it's the weekend, not a weekday, and you relax on weekends, and not do any womework. Or something like that. Yep, I like that theory, I'm going with that. So, apparently, it's Earth Hour tonight. I never got into that kind of global warming stuff. It might just be because I'm a greedy bastard, and by the time all this crap happens, I'll probably be dead. Besides, if the globe is getting warmer, then that means it'll be summer all year long! And that can only mean one thing...........BIKINIS!!! Not on me, of course. Ew. That's just wrong. None the less, I'll be turning off all my useless crap at whenever this thing is. I'd better just find my night-vision goggles first.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Screw mudmen, I'm a MUDVIGILANTE!!
Friday, 30th March, 4:22pm
Fun things to do in an exam #16: Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
'Sup, readers.
I'm writing this in a pair of Cripty B's pants, which an me are more tights, and one of his dad's shirts. It's a long story, so stay with me. I went to school todyt, and as I mentioned in the last post, I had no classes, so for the first two periods, it was a case of sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. About eleven o'clock, me and Cripty B decided we've had enough, and start walking to his place. About halfway to his place, there's a small lake in the middle of town, called Lake Sambell. As we were walking past it, we decided it was dry enough to walk across. In all my years, I don't think I've been more wrong. By the time we got out, two and a half hours later, I had three inch thick mud boots up to my knees, and the rest of me was just brown. Cripty B was just as bad. We evtually made it to his place, where I had what felt like the best shower of my life. Of course, my clothes looked like an elephant had taken a crap on them, so they went in the wash. I'll get them back from him someday. At least I hope I will, those are my favourite jeans.
Later, readers.
The Vigilante
Fun things to do in an exam #16: Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
'Sup, readers.
I'm writing this in a pair of Cripty B's pants, which an me are more tights, and one of his dad's shirts. It's a long story, so stay with me. I went to school todyt, and as I mentioned in the last post, I had no classes, so for the first two periods, it was a case of sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. About eleven o'clock, me and Cripty B decided we've had enough, and start walking to his place. About halfway to his place, there's a small lake in the middle of town, called Lake Sambell. As we were walking past it, we decided it was dry enough to walk across. In all my years, I don't think I've been more wrong. By the time we got out, two and a half hours later, I had three inch thick mud boots up to my knees, and the rest of me was just brown. Cripty B was just as bad. We evtually made it to his place, where I had what felt like the best shower of my life. Of course, my clothes looked like an elephant had taken a crap on them, so they went in the wash. I'll get them back from him someday. At least I hope I will, those are my favourite jeans.
Later, readers.
The Vigilante
Aren't naps supposed to be short?
Thursday, 29th March, 9:02pm
Fun things to do in an exam #15: Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, nothing else.
Hey, readers.
This is kind of awkward, but I just woke up. I basically got home, ate a sandwhich and decided to have a nap. Yeah, turns out that nap lasted for four hours. Whoops. Ah well, I'll probably be up until about two in the morning anyway. I've got no classes on tomorrow, but I'm still going to school. I can blame my mother for that. The conversation went like this;
"Mum, I'm not going to school tomorrow."
"Yes, you are."
"I don't have any classes on, and I can study better at home."
"Is school open tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Then you're going."
My mother isn't the kind of person you mess with. Ever. At least I'll be able to get another nap in on one of the couches in the library. That should basically cover my whole school day, judging by my previous efforts in napping.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
Fun things to do in an exam #15: Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, nothing else.
Hey, readers.
This is kind of awkward, but I just woke up. I basically got home, ate a sandwhich and decided to have a nap. Yeah, turns out that nap lasted for four hours. Whoops. Ah well, I'll probably be up until about two in the morning anyway. I've got no classes on tomorrow, but I'm still going to school. I can blame my mother for that. The conversation went like this;
"Mum, I'm not going to school tomorrow."
"Yes, you are."
"I don't have any classes on, and I can study better at home."
"Is school open tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Then you're going."
My mother isn't the kind of person you mess with. Ever. At least I'll be able to get another nap in on one of the couches in the library. That should basically cover my whole school day, judging by my previous efforts in napping.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
A study what?!
Wednesday, 28th March, 4:54pm
Fun things to do in an exam #14: Do the exam in crayons, paint or flourescent markers.
Hey, readers.
Ah, parent-teacher interviews. Didn't that use to be when my teachers told my parents what a great little kid I am? When the hell did that change?! All I heard today was, "He's not doing enough homework", "He needs to study more", "I had sexual harrasment problems as a kid, so now I take out my anger on the students". Well, maybe not the last one, but you get the point. My two-week holidays start next week. No, sorry, scratch that. I don't get a holiday. In Year 12, they call it a "study break". Now that's bullshit if I've ever heard it. Do they seriously think we're going to spend two whole weeks of freedom sitting at a desk?! Even I've got better things to do, and I barely have a life.
Later, readers
The Vigilante
Fun things to do in an exam #14: Do the exam in crayons, paint or flourescent markers.
Hey, readers.
Ah, parent-teacher interviews. Didn't that use to be when my teachers told my parents what a great little kid I am? When the hell did that change?! All I heard today was, "He's not doing enough homework", "He needs to study more", "I had sexual harrasment problems as a kid, so now I take out my anger on the students". Well, maybe not the last one, but you get the point. My two-week holidays start next week. No, sorry, scratch that. I don't get a holiday. In Year 12, they call it a "study break". Now that's bullshit if I've ever heard it. Do they seriously think we're going to spend two whole weeks of freedom sitting at a desk?! Even I've got better things to do, and I barely have a life.
Later, readers
The Vigilante
Monday, 26 March 2012
At The Movies with The Vigilante
Tuesday, 27th March, 5:13pm
Fun things to do in an exam #13: Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip all the papers into little pieces, throw them in the air and yell "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. repeat every fifteen minutes.
Hey, readers.
No exams today, thank God. Cripty B and I both had the first two periods free, so we snuck into theold pottery room and watched Over The Hedge. I love that movie, Hammy the squirrel cracks me up every time. While I'm on the subect of movies, I was talking with the Red Dwarf today, and she mentioned the movie Burlesque. Now, I hate that movie and for good reason. One of my favourite films of all time is Coyote Ugly (If you think it's gay, you haven't seen it. IT'S CHICKS DANCING ON A BAR.), and Burlesque is a complete ripoff of it. I hate it when movies do that. There's two that I can think of off the top of my head. The first is The Lion King, which, as I've said before, is just Hamlet. And Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time? Pocahontas. Don't believe me? Go watch it. I heard rumours that there's going to be a sequel to Avatar. Hmm, that's funny, I didn't realise they had made Pocahontas II.
Later, readers
The Vigilante
Fun things to do in an exam #13: Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip all the papers into little pieces, throw them in the air and yell "Merry Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. repeat every fifteen minutes.
Hey, readers.
No exams today, thank God. Cripty B and I both had the first two periods free, so we snuck into theold pottery room and watched Over The Hedge. I love that movie, Hammy the squirrel cracks me up every time. While I'm on the subect of movies, I was talking with the Red Dwarf today, and she mentioned the movie Burlesque. Now, I hate that movie and for good reason. One of my favourite films of all time is Coyote Ugly (If you think it's gay, you haven't seen it. IT'S CHICKS DANCING ON A BAR.), and Burlesque is a complete ripoff of it. I hate it when movies do that. There's two that I can think of off the top of my head. The first is The Lion King, which, as I've said before, is just Hamlet. And Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time? Pocahontas. Don't believe me? Go watch it. I heard rumours that there's going to be a sequel to Avatar. Hmm, that's funny, I didn't realise they had made Pocahontas II.
Later, readers
The Vigilante
Sunday, 25 March 2012
TWO?!?! COME ON!!
Monday, 26th March, 5:12pm
Fun things to do in an exam #12: Run into the room, looking around frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Walk up to the instructor, say "They've found me, I need to leave the country!", then run out.
Hey readers
Monday morning, Literature exam, didn't study, no cheat sheet, still half asleep. Yeah, welcome to Year 12, V. I think the topic was something like "T.S. Eliot argued that society is souless and dull", or something like that. I don't even remember what I wrote, it was just two and a half pages of blah. I did manage to do a paragraph on how Eliot often hints at prostitution, though. Scary part was, it almost made sense. Anyway, just because ONE exam isn't bad enough, I had a Maths one in the afternoon. Seriously?! Do all the teachers stand around and plot how to destroy our souls, all while cackling wildly?! Now, I like to think I'm fairly good at maths, but there was one question that I just face-palmed on. It was something about interest, and I was writing madly, when I glanced up at the top of the question and noticed I'd gotten one of the numbers wrong. Just one number, but it was enough to screw up the whole question. So the writing on the question ended with "164993.64 over 34... wait..............bollocks." Hopefully, I might get a mark for making the teacher laugh. Maybe.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
Fun things to do in an exam #12: Run into the room, looking around frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Walk up to the instructor, say "They've found me, I need to leave the country!", then run out.
Hey readers
Monday morning, Literature exam, didn't study, no cheat sheet, still half asleep. Yeah, welcome to Year 12, V. I think the topic was something like "T.S. Eliot argued that society is souless and dull", or something like that. I don't even remember what I wrote, it was just two and a half pages of blah. I did manage to do a paragraph on how Eliot often hints at prostitution, though. Scary part was, it almost made sense. Anyway, just because ONE exam isn't bad enough, I had a Maths one in the afternoon. Seriously?! Do all the teachers stand around and plot how to destroy our souls, all while cackling wildly?! Now, I like to think I'm fairly good at maths, but there was one question that I just face-palmed on. It was something about interest, and I was writing madly, when I glanced up at the top of the question and noticed I'd gotten one of the numbers wrong. Just one number, but it was enough to screw up the whole question. So the writing on the question ended with "164993.64 over 34... wait..............bollocks." Hopefully, I might get a mark for making the teacher laugh. Maybe.
Later, readers
The Vigilante.
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