I just found out something awesome. My newsagent, the source of all things awesome? ALSO A DRY-CLEANER.  My Backwards Dog, that place can do no wrong.

I might soon be dead

Hey, readers

So, once again, this weekend promises to be an interesting one. It starts off with my Valedictory Dinner on Friday night. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's kind of like the real end of year 12, when we really graduate. I was going to miss it, but my mother pulled out the death rays, so I'm cleaning up my suit.

Then come Sunday, I'm playing at a family member's wedding down in Melbourne. Nothing special, just THE SONG THAT THE BRIDE WALKS INTO. So if I mess up, I am going to be hated for the rest of my life. So, you know, no pressure or anything. Luckily, it's not that bloody wedding march thing, but it's still a fairly complicated song, so I've been practicing pretty much nonstop for the past two weeks.

Also, a bunch of friends (yes, I have friends, shut up) are going camping for a week on the Sunday, so I'm catching up with them on Monday. So, if you don't hear from me  in the next week, it's not because I'm dead. Well, I might be dead. Who knows.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

Is that.........?

I

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I          I          I

I        I        I

I      I      I

I    I    I

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Yep, you just saw what you think you just saw. That's what I look like. And in the thumbnail, I look like a retard.

Anyway, as you can probably guess, this video marks the arrival of me on YouTube! Hopefully, this won't be the last video, so, you know, get used to my ugly mug popping up more often.

Later, readers

The Vigilante

A retarded seal

'Sup, readers

Well, that was an interesting weekend. I'll admit, I am tired as hell. We moved about twenty acres of hay, which is without a doubt the hardest workout you will ever get. Each bale weighs somewhere twenty and thirty kilograms, more if it's wet in the middle  and you're throwing things three or four metres onto the back of a truck. And twenty acres means there's about two or three THOUSAND of these bales. So by the time you're onto about bale #75, you want to KILL the guy that came up with the idea of hay bales.

On another note, the party on Friday night went well. After several rounds of epic laser tagging (in which I discovered that one of the nerdiest people I know is actually some kind of cyber ninja GOD), we somehow managed to find a Twister board game.

Oh, dear lord.

To say that I am not flexible is somewhat of a statement. To say that seeing one of your friends basically pushing their ass into someone's face is the funniest thing ever is a MASSIVE understatement. At one point, I was laughing so hard that I looked like a retarded seal. I wasn't making any sound, I was clapping my hands, with a look on my face that said "hey, I'm an idiot!". But holy crap, was it funny.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I'M A BADASS WITH A GUN

Hey, readers

I'm writing this from a computer at my mother's workplace, because frankly that's the only one I can get to right now. And this thing is slow as SH*T.

So, apparently this laser tagging thing is actually an eighteenth birthday party, and I'm staying the night at the girl's place. The last time this situation arose, I woke up the next day with a girl wrapped around me, drooling on my arm, and no memory of the previous night. So, you know, here's hoping it goes just as well.

The laser tagging should be fun, anyway. I'm a total baddass with a gun in my hands. Which reminds me, I got the date for my preliminary appointment for RMCD today. I've expected to be in front of a panel of stony-faced judges at 8:30 exactly on the 16th of January. I'll have to get my suit cleaned. Or at least exorcised.

F*cking LOL

Hey, readers

So, I've been playing around with the blog, and I'm pretty sure that I've figured out how to put videos on here. I'm not 100% sure, so I figured the best way to find out was just to try. And so I came to the problem of "what video?". After many milliseconds of thought, I eventually decided upon this, because it's the funniest freaking thing I've ever seen. I showed it to Cripty B the other day, and we were both crying with laughter. Even as I'm writing this, the video's running and I'm literally having to stop every few seconds to wipe away the tears of laughter. So, without any further ado, may I present Ross Noble with a smoke machine on the television show Good News Week:

Holy crap, I think I just pissed my pants.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

I Am The Night....... sleeper.

Hey, readers

I'm pretty sure I'm some kind of nocturnal animal now. Well, the animal part, we always knew, but it's getting to the point where I'm going to sleep at around the same point as the sun's going "Good morning!", and I'm like "PISS OFF SUN, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR YOU!!", and then waking up at around one in the afternoon. Which is, you know, productive. maybe. Also, it's probably not the best idea because of the fact that I am a major scaredy cat (is that how you spell it?), and I hate being alone in the dark, which, at two in the morning, I usually am. So, I'm usually sitting there doing something, and my cat will brush up against my leg, and yes, I will scream like a ten year old girl. It's not exactly dignified, but it scares the hell out of the cat.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

..............BORED.

Hey, readers

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I already miss school. I know, I know, I'm not crazy, but at least I had something to do when I was being taught. Right now, I kind of seem to be at a point where everything either happened or about to happen, and nothing's going on now. I literally spent half an hour twiddling my thumbs today. It was....... boring, to say the least.

But hey, at least I got invited to go laser-tagging on Friday, so, you know, yay for me and my pathetic social life actually doing something for a change. By the way, here's a picture.

If you get that, congratulations. If you REALLY get that, then you're an Avatard. Here's another one:

Why? Because it's Stitch, bitch. Heh, that rhymed.

Later, readers
The Vigilante

D-Day....... in 2-D!!!

So, as promised, I have managed to rustle up some photos of the 2012 D-day. Let's get this party started with the true embodiment of what D-day really means:

Yeah. None of them are me, by the way. So, you know, stop screaming.

Ah, here we go. This was during the construction of The Labyrinth the day before. I think this was at about 67% completion.

For the record, that guy in the green shirt? That's The Kemster. He just turned eighteen.

The scary part is that this was actually one of the widest points in The Labyrinth.

There was a bunch of us camped at one ended with an arsenal of water blasters, so anyone who came out got majorly soaked. Here we have two perfect examples of reactions to seeing all of us: The Knowing Grin, and the The Terrified Shock. Sorry about the quality, by the way.

Ah, the costumes. What would D-Day have been without the crazy, extravagant outfits? Here, we have the four guys who came as four of the villains from the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. They look good here, but the looked f*ckin' awesome on the day. Also, our beloved Prime Minister, and Mr. Abbott. Looking good, Joolya.

And now, Snow White and her Seven Dwarves. Which means......... yeah, that's me with the massive boobs. Thank God you can't see my face, because I was probably staring down my own cleavage in wonder.

..................In retrospect, I have no idea what this guy was supposed to be.

I will admit, I was impressed by the guys who did this, because they managed to do all this WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF GLUE OR LADDER. Awesome.

Ah, yes, the hideaway. Being rampant maniacs is hard work, so we built a little room into The Labyrinth, stole some couches from the library, and made ourselves a spot of seclusion. Of course, you could still soak people in water over the top of the lockers.

And that looks the be the last worthwhile I can find. Overall, it was a rather fun day, although I kept having trouble with my thong. And I don't mean the one on my foot. HOW'S THAT FOR A SCARY IMAGE HUH?!

Later, readers
The Vigilante (formerly Snow White)

Hey, look. Up in the sky........

Is that a bird?

Is it a plane?

Wait.........

Is that The Vigilante?!

I'M BACK, BITCHES!!!

Yep, that's right, your savior and general hero has returned! STOP THAT COLLECTIVE GROAN! 

In my last post, I closed the blog because of everything that had been happening. I think the words I used were: 

"The truth is, with all my exams coming up, and trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do next year, this blog has kind of taken a back seat."

Well, I'm proud to say that today, I finished my last exam. And guess what? They saved bloody Literature for last. Bastards. Also, I've applied for a place at the Royal Military College at Duntroon. For those of you that don't know The RMCD is where most of the officers in the Australian Army are trained. So, who knows, in a few years time, I could be updating this blog from some remote warzone. Yeah, that could be interesting. "Lieutenant Vigilante, your squad needs you, we're in the middle of a shootout!" "Hang on, my fans need me!" Yep, real interesting.

Since the last post, the gang has kind of spread out as well. The Red Dwarf is still in the same place, But Cripty B has moved to Albury (about forty clicks away), and The Kemster is somewhere in Beechworth (20 clicks). I'm not even kidding, none of us really know where his new place is.

Most of us are starting to drift apart anyway. As anyone who's ever been in the Australian education system knows, exams come after the end of school for Year 12, so we've all officially ended school. We did, however, go out with a bang. You see, we have a little tradition in Year 12, one that's celebrated all the world over. It's got a lot of different names, but we call it........

D-DAY.

D-Day is a very special occasion when those who are finishing get to cause a little havoc. Also, cross-dressing. Well, you're meant to dress up, but it's kind of gotten to the point where we just become transvestites automatically. I came as Snow White. I was seriously sexy. Like, men wanted to sleep with me. Maybe it was the valleyball-sized boobs.

So, an integral part of D-Day is the pranks. This year, our crowning jewel was a little bit of fun called The Labyrinth, in which we got almost every locker in the school and created a massive maze down one of the hallways. In order to actually get to your locker, you had to pass through the twists and turns of The Labyrinth, all the while keeping your eyes out for YOUR locker. Add onto that a bunch of us Year 12s hidden at key points with massive water cannons, and you've got yourself a incredibly fun time. Well, it was fun for us. Seriously, I'm glad I've figured out how to put pictures on here, because that thing was a freaking work of art. And just to have a little more fun, we somehow managed to get all of the teacher to do that bloody Gangnam Style dance in front of the entire school. I still have no idea how we got away with that. So, pictures should be on here soon.

Anyway, I'm going to sign off, because I've just discovered a random ice-cream pie in the freezer (SCORE), and I plan to munch on it, even though I have no idea how old it is. Screw bacteria, I'm The Vigilante! Sickness cannot harm me!! HAHAHAHA............yeah. Don't worry, though. For the near future, my schedule pretty clear, so I won't be far from the keyboard. So keep an eye out for new posts, because they should be coming thick and fast. Ew, that sounded gross.

Later, readers
The Vigilante
(Damn, it's good to be back.)